This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
