saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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