Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
