I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize