and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
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You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize