I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
