"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
