I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My life is pants optional.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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