Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
