I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
