i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
