He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
