needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
