i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
