i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize