she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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