But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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