I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
