He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize