trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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