Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think a kid would responsible me up
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
