just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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