There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Operation Purity has been aborted
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
