How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
