Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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(312): View more from Illinois

Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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(530): View more from California

my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.

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