i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
