no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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