and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
