the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
