put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
