Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
