his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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