i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
