I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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