did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
