So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
