we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
