is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
