I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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