how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
