don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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