yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.