Will you blow on my dice?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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