He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can i not drive my cunt home
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
