he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
