you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
