Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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