Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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