I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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