i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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