jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
