Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
