just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
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I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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