he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
