My balls are so social today.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
