Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
