TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
