so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
