I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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