This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
