Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
