OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
