so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
