Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
