Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
