If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize