Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
