I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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