I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
