btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
