whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Houston, we have a squirter
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
