but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
