So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
